The heal to our pain & sadness

We, as one of arwah's close friends, huzaifah and I, have came out with this idea - to make one special blog for him to all his friends or even family to say or let it out their feelings or memories and such things. This blog meant nothing and has nothing to do with the death and alive, it just for in memory of him and to heal our pain and sadness towards our mighty friend, Arwah Afham Akhimullah bin Matkhir.

We all have never been expecting for this tragic thing would ever happened to anyone of us. It just hit our feelings like boom! He's gone forever from this world within a second. The day, the minute and second have all been written since he was born to this world. HE has fated for him, this is the best for him. We, should take this with patient and a strong heart. He has returned to HIS side, rahmatullah. That is the fact that we should face and convince our self every day we woke up. There is no more Apam, Akim or we used to called him Matkhir.

We can't blame HIM for took him away from us. After all, WE all belong to HIM. HE is the one who gives us the heartbeat, and HE is the one who can take it anytime HE wants. HE just lend it to us. We should use it wisely. I know, it does takes time to take the reality. It just seems like we were dreaming. It just seems like everybody was joking. We just met him a few days back. We just heard him laughing his ass off. It seems like he just smiled to us a few hours ago.. He just text-ed you guys, he just called you guys or maybe he just told 'see you later'. but he left us before we could meet him in this world. He's gone from this world forever. It's really really hard for those whose close to him.

He has been an amazing guy to us, I won't forget all his memories with me. It just so beautiful. There's no words that can describe how beautiful and lucky we are, we had a chance to be apart in his life. And I am sure he thanked us too. He is lucky, indeed; to have friends like us. We can't undo what has been done. We can't make the death back alive even tho we cry our lungs out. He's much more happier there. I am sure he is calmer there.

It just feels like yesterday, since; he pinched my cheek. I wont forget the shaped and palm of his hand, his finger that has touched mine, his wavy hair flowed sideways, his dimple curved on his adorable chubby cheek. His puppy dog eyes that makes me melt like an ice cream when it hits the hot bright sun. His favorite color, his favorite food and his favorite dream vespa. The beautiful tune when he plays the guitar. His hand gently picking the string. His voice rings in head. His sweat when he hold my hands. His warmth when he hold me tightly. His haunted lips that keep smiling. His sincerity loving me. His hand written when he wrote me letters and cards. His necklace that I would keep forever. His email in my inbox. His room that brights in blue. His baby kicked when we had dinner together with his mum. His kindness and sacrifices he did. His red faces when his blushing. His massive adorable, cutest baby picture. His likeness when he messing around with me. His ego that I'll tolerate no matter what. His baby face that shine my life. His fears and hopes. His laugh that refresh my day. Way too much to describe him. He has been perfect to me. He is like the hot bright shiny sun to me. And now without him in this world, is like a night time. Dark and dull, company with the oh-so-bright-moon. You're just too sweet.

I will always pray for you Apam. I have faith in you that you'll do great. There's less sin for you in this world. I will always and always and always remember you, every single little thing about you. I am so sorry I can't make it to your funeral because of the distance . I can't see you for the last time before you went in there alone and forever. but I promise you, I'll go and visit you once I'm back in Malaysia. That is the first thing I will do. I still love you tho you're gone.

Thanks for letting me being apart in your life. I do appreciated it so muchhhhh! You are the love of my life, indeed; you have been the greatest friend and boyfriend ever to me! Rest in peace in your eternal life. June 8th 2009 is your day. Who knows, maybe tomorrow or today is my day. It's all in HIS hand. We can't do nothing other than trust confidently towards HIM. We will meet someday, the day will come when we all will be together. You just went faster than us because you will wait us there. That's it till now. I have more words to say than these really. I will always recite Yasin and Fatihah to you. These will be your company down there :')


some of our pictures together.

Sincerely from deep of my heart,
Siti Zulaikha.